Monday Mojo – Hold Your Ground

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Do you ever feel like you take three steps forward and two steps back?  

I’m asking because sometimes the road feels long.  
It dulls our sparkle.
Steals our mojo.
Wears us out.

Each of us have causes close to our heart and dreams we want to chase.  It lights us up to talk about the things that matter to us, and actually it can help us feel energised to be in the company of people who understand.  You may be passionate about an area of your work, but others don’t see why.  Or you recognise an injustice that needs to be addressed, but no one else seems to “get it”.

When we feel like we’re getting nowhere with a colleague or a friend, or are in the company of people who just want to clip our wings, it can feel like we’re trying to push water uphill. More and more of us are finding ourselves in spaces where we’re having to say “that’s not ok” (at work or at home) – or just feel more empowered to do so – but need to find ways where we’re not pulling the plug on everything.  Can you relate?  

It’s not easy fronting up to people, so how do we do that and walk away feeling like we did the “right” thing?

Here’s what might help:

This week, maybe set the intention to Hold Your Ground.  First of all, and this is important, I’m here to say that you never have to occupy spaces that are unhealthy for you; if that’s you right now there are links here to organisations that could help.  You absolutely deserve to have your voice heard and your feelings cared for; it’s ok to walk away and say “enough”.  Because you matter.

Next, I will add that sometimes people will be committed to misunderstanding you, even when you do your brilliant best. On days when you’re weary (whether it’s due to other people’s demands or ignorance) it’s ok to take a step back, gather your thoughts and move forward when you’re ready.    Their urgent doesn’t make it your problem.

If it’s time to dig your heels in though (in a healthy way, of course) then you’re allowed to hold the line and protect yourself from potential boundary invasions, or where people are already crossing a line you can lay out very clearly what you will tolerate and what you will not.  Protecting our space can sometimes mean we have to be firm but fair, and you’re allowed to spell out the principles you live by.

In the meantime, don’t dim your light just so that others feel more comfortable.  If you can’t find a space to shine, then don’t be afraid to create one.

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You might also like: my book Answers In The Dark: Grief, Sleep and How Dreams Can Help You Heal, out now.  

© Delphi Ellis 2022