Are you feeling under-appreciated right now? In a world that is endlessly busy, it can sometimes feel like we’re all give whilst everyone else is all take.
The constant demands on our time these days might mean we don’t get a moment to reset, at the same feeling like we should be doing more with less. You’ll know what I mean, if the boundaries are getting blurred because you say yes when you actually mean no, or feel guilty for not being in all the right places at once – even when you know it’s just not possible.
It can also happen when our own or other people’s expectations are so high, it’s become the norm. We’ve got so used to pulling out all the stops, that this is now the ‘new normal’. What was once seen as exceptional has fast become ordinary. This shows up with bosses, friends or family who expect you to give an award winning performance every day. And it’s exhausting.
Here’s what might help:
This week, maybe set the intention to Cherish Your Value. Take a sheet of paper (or treat yourself to a brand new sparkly notebook – just because) and write down all the things you’re bringing to the party right now, whether it’s incredible time management, the ability to cook a five star bolognese from scratch, or just showing up every day with your top the right way round.
It can also help to reset the boundaries with a few people. Don’t be afraid to draw a line and say when enough is enough, or take a step back to check where things have gone too far. It’s ok to tell people what you can and can’t reasonably do, and let them know that ‘all in’ doesn’t have to mean ‘all out’ if it’s affecting your well-being. You’re allowed to reassess your priorities.
Finally, have a think about where you feel guilty and whether or not that’s actually misplaced. Sometimes it’s other people who have that effect on us, or again it’s our own ideas of having everything ‘just right’. Write a list of what really matters right now, and see where adjustments can be made.
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You might also like: my book Answers In The Dark: Grief, Sleep and How Dreams Can Help You Heal, out now.
© Delphi Ellis 2022